Do Not Miss the Moments

There are so many things I wish I could go back and change about the weeks before I lost Kenzi. I wish I would have taken the time to write down more of what I was thinking and feeling and what I was doing. I wish I would have taken the time to reflect more on the time from when I knew something was wrong until the time I lost Kenzi. I wish I would have taken more pictures of my belly. I wish, I wish, I wish.

Kenzi has taught me so much in the last four years that I could not put it all of it words. She changed who I am as a being and reminded me that love has no limits. She also taught me that you never know what your life will bring and what changes make take place from one day to the next.

On January 21, 2007 I was 6 months pregnant with Kenzi looking forward to her arrival. I was looking at bedding for her room and getting excited about her arrival. On January 22, 2007 all of that changed when Kenzi was no longer moving and was born sleeping on January 23, 2007. I cannot go back and change history but I can learn from it.

I remind myself to live in the moments, even the small ones. I take the extra time to roll around with my children because one day they won’t want me to. I take the extra time to smell the tops of my children’s heads and take them in. I take the extra time to let my heart cry silent tears when I see a child who makes me think of Kenzi.

Do miss the moments that you will not be able to get back. Take the time, make the time to have those moments. Take the pictures, make the calls, send the letters and emails. Don’t put off today what you think you will do tomorrow, tomorrow may not be what you dreamed.