When I began my journey as a mother of an angel, I never dreamed how this journey would define me. I never realized how this journey would alter many of my hopes and dreams. Unless you have been through a loss, it is so hard to explain to anyone.
As the founder of Dolls for Daughters® and Kenzi’s Kidz, I knew that I wanted to create a place where the siblings of an angel could find others who were experiences the same pain and loss they were. After Kenzi died I had a hard enough time dealing with my grief that I knew I could not help Bailey with her grief the way I wished I could. I wanted Bailey to have other kids to talk to that felt like she did. I wanted her to have other kids to share her story with, to share her sadness with, I wanted her to have friends who understood her loss.
The place I knew Bailey and now Kamden and one day Karson could find this would be a house that we had in memory of Kenzi. Kenzi’s House is my dream. Kenzi’s House will be a location for children who have lost a sibling to come and share their story, talk with others who have lost and receive the counseling services they need. And believe me the siblings of an angel do need a support system. They need others their age who understand the loss, who feel the loss and pain and can share.
There are several support groups for parents who have lost a child but none that I have found that help siblings of an angel. Bailey never met Kenzi but that does not mean that she does not feel the loss and that she does not grief. She does. Bailey talks about Kenzi all the time and how she wishes she were here to play with. Bailey often talks about how she wishes for one day she could go to Heaven and play with Kenzi. As the Mother to both of these girls, all I can do is cry silent tears because I cannot fix the pain. I cannot bring Kenzi back.
Tonight when I tucked Kamden into bed and told him I was doing something for Dolls for Daughters® tomorrow he said he wanted to go with me. At three years old Kamden knows exactly what Dolls for Daughters® is about. He knows about his sister. I told him it would be cold and I would be outside the whole time. Then Kamden told me he missed Kenzi and he started to cry. He asked me why she had to die. That is the hardest question a Mother has to answer. I do not have an answer. Through the tears Kamden said “I really, really, really miss Kenzi Mommy”. As my own tears dropped on Kamden’s arm I told him I missed her too.
It is because of my own children that I cannot wait until Kenzi’s House is a reality. I know having Kenzi’s House will be an amazing resource for families such as mine to go to after a loss. We will have resources for families that have lost a child. It will be my mission to have counseling support groups for siblings of angels so they can heal together.
Kenzi’s House will also help our foundation fulfill our mission. It will offer information about all the services our foundation offers along with other organizations we work with to make a difference in the lives of children and families.
Please help make Kenzi’s House a reality by making a donation to our foundation. Consider becoming part of Kenzi’s Friends Give and make a monthly donation of at least $5 per month!
